All I Need
by Juliamine
Summary: Companion story to It Was Only His Baby in EPOV. Alice and Bella want a baby together and ask BFF Edward to donate. He agrees, but one one condition. A/B and B/E pairings. Lemons.
1. The favor

_**AN: You asked for it, you got it. Here is EPOV of chapter 1. Enjoy!**_

_**BellaMadonna thank you so much for all you do!**_

_**Aimee I can't even begin to thank you enough!**_

_**I don't own these characters, but they are sure are fun to tweak with!**_

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EPOV

Looking at my watch became a habit for me as the day stretched on. Working in a hospital as a Family Practice M.D. had both good points and bad. Good points: It was a normal eight-to-five schedule, Monday through Friday. Bad points: Not critical, but multiple cases of stomach ache and sore throats soon got monotonous.

My mood today was far too cynical. My mind needed a time out!

I needed to see Bella, the best friend I had in the world. We had been besties for years, since we were kids in high school. There was a time when I hoped we could be more. Thinking back, I wondered, not for the first time, where we would be if I had just gone to prom stag. Fuck, Jessica Stanley: The root of all evil. If I only knew then what I know now, maybe things would have been different.

_Flashback:_

_My mom was so excited for prom. She wanted pictures, rented me a limo, even went as far as booking a table for two at the fanciest steak house in our hometown. But I didn't want to go, I asked Jessica to appease my mother and because the person I wanted to go with…didn't._

_At the dance, I just went through the motions. We danced to slow songs; Jessica rested her hand on my ass, much to my horror. When the limo stopped at her house after the dance, she attempted to kiss me. But her breath smelled of onions and orange, not the best combination for kissing. All I wanted to do was get back into that Limo and go home. She was livid when I left her on her front porch with a simple 'goodnight'._

_The following Monday, The school rumor-mill was out in full force and Jessica and I were the main topic of discussion. The look on Bella's face when I sat next to her in our first class together spoke volumes. She was pissed._

"_So," she said, keeping her eyes on her textbook. "You and Jessica?"_

"_Umm, eww, no." I said bluntly. This was ridiculous._

"_Cut the bullshit, Edward, there's no reason to spare my feelings," she spoke harshly. "I don't give a fuck if you're with Jessica now, but don't fucking lie about it!"_

"_If there was something to tell," I defended, "I would tell you."_

"_Ok, so is it or isn't it true she had her hands all over you at prom?" She lifted her eyes towards me. If looks could kill, I would have been one dead mother fucker._

_Without saying a word, I snorted and threw her my best 'give me a break' look._

"_You know what, Edward," she snapped. "It doesn't fucking matter."_

_Bella was different after that. I tried repeatedly to tell her that I wasn't with Jessica, that I wouldn't give two fucks for the chick, but she never listened. Jessica, the bitch, didn't help matters by trying to grope me any chance she got._

_Our relationship never the same, all because of a misunderstanding. Bella's guard was up, and there seem to be no way of getting past it. But I never stopped trying._

_It was during my first year of college that the shit really hit the fan._

"_Guess what?" Bella said, excitement in her voice._

"_Don't tell me…Your dad is gay?" I teased._

"_Very funny, Cullen," she said, not impressed with my joke. "No. My dad is not gay," she paused for a moment. "But I am."_

_My jaw dropped and I nearly dropped the phone. I was speechless._

"_Edward? You still there?"_

"_Yeah, I'm still here," I croaked. "What did you say?"_ I really hoped she was kidding.

"_I said I'm gay," she repeated. "I met someone, and I want you to meet her."_

_What the fuck? I had no idea Bella was a lesbian, and I wondered if she had before she met her 'girlfriend'._

_Well, fuck that; fuck it all! _I thought as I shook myself out of my reverie_._

I picked up my cell phone and sent Bella a text message.

_**We still on for dinner tonight?**_

A knock sounded on my office door as I awaited Bella's reply.

"Yes?" I called toward the door, acknowledging the knocker.

The door opened to admit Tanya, my medical assistant. "The last patient of the day is in room five," she declared, a flirtatious smile on her lips. "Thirty year old man with hives, possible reaction to antibiotics for strep throat."

"Thank you, Tanya," I said, nodding my head before looking back towards my computer screen "I'll be there in a minute."

She had been flirting with me since her first day in the office, and she had been getting bolder by the day. She had tried everything: from accidentally bumping me with her breasts and pseudo-sexy smiles; to flipping her hair and come-hither looks. It was no secret to me what she wanted; but she wasn't getting it from me! I just wasn't interested and, frankly, she just wasn't my type.

I closed my eyes for a moment and thought: What exactly was my type? Behind my eyes I saw mahogany hair that smelled of vanilla and lavender; wide chestnut eyes that were pools of chocolate that melted me with a single glance. I knew someone who fit that description. But she was off limits. Fucking fate!

Sighing heavily, I walked from my office towards Room five.

***

I got home around five thirty, threw my keys on the kitchen table and grabbed a beer from the fridge. The girls weren't expecting me until around six thirty so I had some time to kill. I plopped down on my couch, turned on the TV, scrolling through the channels before settling on some reality show chronicling employees doing dubious things while on the job. Just as I was watching hidden-camera footage of a grown woman peeing on her boss's couch, my phone buzzed alerting me I had a text message.

_**Be here at 6:30. If you're late, I have no qualms with beating you. –B**_

I smirked. She already told me six thirty days ago. _I have no qualms with having you beat me, though,_ I thought.

_**I'll be there. What are we having? –E**_

Within a minute she replied.

_**Chicken. I know how you love chicken ;)**_

Hmm, I could go totally grade school and tease her about that or just ignore it. Our interaction often confused me. She would send me flirtatious text messages and I had caught her glancing sideways at me many times when she didn't think I was watching. Confusion didn't even start to define how I felt around her.

Choosing to not reply to her last text, I drank my beer and watched more disgusting employee antics until six fifteen, then drove to Alice and Bella's place.

My knock was quickly answered by a smiling Bella.

"Hey you!" she said, seeming thrilled to see me. Walking in , I pulled her into a tight hug, taking the advantage of her closeness to get a quick whiff of her hair. _Ummm, Lavender_. I released her reluctantly, and we walked into the living room.

"So, what's for dinner?" I asked her teasingly, even though I already knew it was chicken. Lucky for me, she was making her specialty: glazed chicken. And wine?

"Wine eh?" I questioned. She was a light weight and didn't often drink. When she did, it usually meant something was up. She told me a little about how her day at work sucked, followed by her usual "did you get any dates" prodding.

I rolled by eyes at her and gave her a resounding no, causing her to giggle. She was so damn cute, I couldn't help myself. I pulled her into my arms and rubbed her head, succeeding in messing up her hair. Her hands went to my waist in a failed attempt to push me away. I swear I could feel her heart pounding against my chest, fast a furious. From just a noogie?

Alice walked in, giving us a indulgent smile. Bella made another attempt to get loose, so this time I let her. I turned and pulled Alice into a friendly hug.

We ate dinner and we each in turn talked about our work days. I watched Bella take bites of her food, her tongue flicking out to lick wayward juices from her lips. I was mesmerized by the sight of that little pink tongue. I wasn't as sly about my covert inspection of her mouth as I thought; she caught me staring and lifted her eyebrows at me, smiling softly. God the things that woman unconsciously did to me!

After dinner, we converged in the living room, they to sit on the couch, me in the chair next to them. I tried not to watch them cuddle. I felt like I was invading their together time, but it was the other feeling in my stomach that bothered me most. Knowing I needed to tame the beast, I made my way to the door and bid them goodbye.

The night was still young so I decided to stop at Ringo's, the closest bar with pool tables to my house. It was Friday night so there was a slim chance a table was free.

Lucky for me, there was one table free. I ordered myself a Fat Tire beer and racked up the balls on the table. Just as I felt a presence behind me, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to find a set of baby blues undressing me as they moved up my body setting before meeting my eyes.

Tanya!

"Need a pool partner?" she asked, the lust in her voice palpable.

"Sure," I said. Who wanted to shoot pool by themselves, anyways?.

We shot pool and drank beer for a couple hours. I would later blame the beer for causing me to sloppily grope her ass. She needed no further encouragement as she fell against me for an opened mouth kiss. She shoved her tongue so far inside I thought of asking her if she tasted my dinner!

"Let's go to your place," she said. It wasn't a question as she rubbed her body into mine. A moan escaped my lips. I was only a man; there was only so much I could take before I needed release.

My house was just a few blocks away, so we walked. She hung off me, her tongue licking my neck and her hands groping my ass the whole way.

The second the door closed, she was stripping my shirt from me. I blame the beer for my total lapse in judgment, as I reciprocated her actions, tugging her shirt over her head. My hands landed on her back and quickly unhooked her bra, releasing two of the tightest tits I had ever seen. I wanted to nibble on them, but they were so firm I was almost scared of popping them like a damn water balloon. Shit! They were fake!

We made our way to the couch, kicking off shoes and the rest of our clothing along the way. I sat on the couch and she straddled me, rubbing her fingers up and down my chest. Pulling me into another sloppy wet kiss, I felt her pussy hover above my hard cock.

"Wait," I said, pulling my hips back before she could take me. "Let me get a condom."

She pulled a leg off me allowing me to run to my bedroom where I quickly found a rubber and slipped it over the head of my cock. I was still feeling the effects of alcohol, but slowly was wondering what the fuck I was doing. I didn't even like her! _Fuck, but I might as well do her since she was here._

She was lying back on my couch, legs spread, waiting for me while she rubbing her clit with her finger.

"God, please get inside me," she moaned, eying my large erection.

I kneeled between her legs, shut my eyes, and lowered my body to hers. I pushed my cock into her, earning a mewl from her lips. Her pussy was wet but not the tightest I had ever felt. I pumped my cock at an alarming rate in an attempt to find more friction, causing her breathing to speed up and her moaning to increase. I pulled her legs up above my shoulders, trying in vain to create more resistance. But it was a lost cause.

Mere minutes in, she screamed out in pleasure as her orgasm swept through her. I continued my quest for release, slamming my hips harder into her as she slowly moved her legs off my shoulders. It seemed her release caused her to loose all interest in my cock, and she went limp below me.

Not feeling even close to coming, I grunted and slammed into her one last time, actually faking an orgasm. I peeled my body off hers, allowing her to get up. She pulled her clothes on, and winked at me as she left the house.

_Fuck, looks like it's just me and Rosie tonight. _I thought as I brought my hand to my cock to finish the job.

***

_Dammit_, I thought as I rolled over in my bed to look at the clock. Even on the weekend I can't seem to sleep past eight. It didn't help that I had struggled to get sleep last night after the huge mistake, also known as Tanya, left my house. I hated that my cock had a mind of its own.

I rolled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom to take a shower. I washed myself vigorously, desperate to get the stench of last night off me. After my shower, I threw on some jeans and a t-shirt and made my way to the kitchen to pour myself a bowl of cold cereal.

When my phone buzzed with a text message, I hoped to god it was someone other than Tanya. My heart beat a little faster when I saw it was Bella, asking to come over today… alone.

And hour later, a nervous looking Bella stood in my foyer. Not wanting to start the day off by prying, I led the way into the TV room and got our day going. We watched movies and she threw popcorn at me. If this was her way of flirting, I'll take it!

It was evening when I decided to tell her about my night with Tanya. Seeming a bit disappointed with me, she listened as I told her how it sucked and how I hated that I lost all inhibitions after only a few beers. _God why couldn't it have been you?_

"Let's go for a walk," she said, not making eye contact with me. "I think we could both use some fresh air." She stopped and turned toward me, her eyes shining with disapproval. "Promise me, Edward. Promise me you won't fuck any more women you don't care about. Its just… pig headish of you."

_Pig-headish? _Strange way of putting it, but I nodded my agreement and opened the door for her. The walk was short, but just what we needed. Entering the house, I noticed she was biting her lip something fierce. She stopped when she saw I was watching her intently.

"So Edward," she said, her voice seemed a bit shaky, making me wonder what she was up to. She began to tell me that she and Alice wanted to have a child together. I teased about her growing a dick, but she was unmoved with my teasing.

Then it happened. She asked something of me I never thought I would hear from her lips.

"Edward, will you please be the donor?" she pleaded with me.

I was taken by surprise; I hadn't expected this… at all. She wanted me to father a baby with her. I needed time to think. My first reaction freaked her out and she was about to dart out my door like a spooked kitten.

We sat and talked and I told her how I wasn't ready for a child. Truth be told, I hadn't given having a kid much of a thought. Not being in a relationship, there really was no reason for me to ever think of that. After we talked, I was lost in my thoughts. I barely acknowledged her leaving aside from nodding in agreement to seeing her tomorrow.

After she left, I went for a jog and let my mind make a list of pro's and con's.

Pros: It would make Bella happy. _Shit, well I can't think of any other pros right now_.

Cons didn't have a large list either. She distinctly told me I would have no legal ties to the child. It would be for her and Alice to care for. But what happened in the future when the child wanted to know about me? Was I ready for this? Maybe I would be when the time came and he or she wanted to get to know me.

So that was it! Not a huge list. If I said no, she would probably find someone else to make a baby with. But, dammit all, _I wanted to be the one to impregnate her_. Dammit all if I wasn't one selfish mother fucker.

Laying in bed that night I thought of Bella. I thought of all her flirtatious little actions towards me, wishing they meant more than they did. This might be my chance to find out for sure. That's when I came up with it. A brilliant plan for a man with nothing to lose.

I would offer her the use of my sperm, but only if she had sex with me to get it. In my mind it made perfect sense.

Somehow I felt if she slept with me, maybe she would realize that what we have together is special. The way I figured it, if she agreed, then she must want me, feel something besides friendship for me. If she says forget it, then I would still probably do it for her anyway. Either way, I would make a baby with her. For that I was certain.

I just hope I don't kill her with shock at my proposal…

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_**Review's make my day! **_

_**Don't be mad at Edward for the whole Tanya mistake, he's only human!  
**_


	2. Bella's Decision

AN: Sorry this took so long! To be honest, it took a serious kick in my ass from the lovely and highly adored Charmie to get going on this.

So Charmie, you are utterly the BEST! LOVE YOU LOTS!

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_**Previously on All I Need:**_

_Laying in bed that night I thought of Bella. I thought of how I wanted her flirtatious actions towards me to mean something more than it did. This might be my one chance, my only chance to find out for sure. That's when I came up with it. A brilliant plan for a man with nothing to lose._

_I would offer her the use of my sperm, but only if she had sex with me to get it. In my mind it made sense._

_Somehow I felt if she slept with me, maybe then she would realize that what we have is special. I figured if she agreed, then she must want me in some way. If she says forget it, then I will probably do it for her anyway. Either way, I would make a baby with her. For that I was certain._

_**I just hope I don't kill her with shock at my proposal…**_

EPOV

The look on her face when I told her of my condition was just as I had feared. She was confused and obviously had no idea what to say to me. I didn't blame her. Shit, her best friend just told her he would help her make a baby for her and her lesbian partner, but only if she had sex with him to do it. Yeah, that's pretty fucked up even for me.

I thought of ways to rectify this situation. Somehow to take back those words, but the damage had already been done and by the time I thought of possibly scrapping the whole idea she had left looking more bewildered than I had ever seen her before. Well of course, she asks me for help to have a baby with the woman she loves and I basically tell her I want to fuck the shit out of her! Good Job Cullen!

Instead of calling her and begging forgiveness, I called the next best person. I need honesty at this point and I knew he would never mince words with me.

"Hello?" Emmett's voice bellowed into the phone.

"I'm in need of drinking myself into a coma. But since I work tomorrow, how about some pool?"

Emmett was a mutual friend of Bella and I. Though, he was always more of a friend to me. His fiancée, Rosalie, had jealousy issues with him hanging out with two women who had no problem fawning and groping each other around friends. It was really his fault for gawking so heavily. Not that it mattered, he only had eyes for her.

"Let me check with my woman." I heard his muffled voice asking to go out as he pressed the receiver against what I assume would be his chest. "Okay. Usual dive bar?"

"Yep, see you in fifteen."

We got to the bar and each ordered a beer. Two games in, I was still nursing the same ale as when we first got there. That didn't go unnoticed.

"Eddie, what the fuck?" he said sarcastically while raising an eyebrow at me. "You've hardly said two words to me this whole time and your being all pansy ass sipping on your beer like it's a fine Cabernet at a Tuscan winery." He set his pool cue across the table and crossed his arms across his chest. "What's up man?" he sighed looking pissed off.

"I just have a lot on my mind." Yeah Bella underneath me, naked panting and begging for me to fuck her.

"You're turn. Pick up the cue and take the fucking shot."

"I'll hit the ball when you spill what's going on," he challenged. "It's not like you to be all emo and shit. Get to talking and I'll get to playing." Arms still crossed, he stared at me and started to tap his foot as if he was waiting on me.

"Fine," I sighed. "But keep playing while we talk."

He gave a slight nod and continued with our game, quickly sinking the red solid ball into the side pocket.

"Nice shot," I said, trying to change the subject.

"Thanks. Now talk."

"Bella and Alice want to have a baby," I stated quietly.

He paused mid shot, leaning over the pool table looking at me all perplexed.

"Okaaayyy," He said drawing the word out longer than humanly possible. "So tell me, why is this something YOU ARE upset about?" He paused for a moment, stood up straight and looked at me with wide eyes. "They....umm...They asked you, didn't they." It was more of a statement than a question.

I nodded nervously while motioning for him to take his shot.

"Fuck, dude!" he said as he took his shot, missing the cue ball altogether. "What did you say?"

My silence told him all he wanted to hear.

"Oh my god, Edward. Tell me you didn't say yes," his voice was getting louder and louder. "Please tell me!"

"Calm yourself, shit Emmett. We don't need the whole bar staring at us," I whispered. "If you can chill out for a minute, I have no problem with telling you what I said," I put my hand on his shoulder and leaned in to whisper. "But this is between you and me. No Rose. No Bella. Especially no Alice." My eyes got fierce, trying to make him understand the power of what I was about to say.

"Of course not, scouts honor....Promise!" he said taking a step back his eyes confused as to why I seemed so upset. "Fuck man, what's gotten in to you?"

"Bella came to my house yesterday to ask if I would be their donor," I started, my voice low but loud enough for him to hear, realizing the power of the words saying them aloud. "I came up with this master plan that I would agree, but **only** if Bella and I do it the old fashioned way....to conceive."

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "My god, Edward," he whispered. "I know you have wanted Bella for, well, forever. But you do realize that's like asking Bella to whore herself out to you, right?"

Guilt built up in my gut in the form of a sharp pain. "No, I don't think that at all." I glared at him, walked around the table and took my shot a bit harder than expected causing the ball to ricochet across the table.

"So, what did she say?"

"She hasn't told me yet," I said, refusing to look him in the eye. "For the record, I was going to tell her to forget it but she left the apartment so fucking fast I couldn't. That's when I called you kinda freaking out."

"Well, more power to you if she accepts," he said with a laugh. "Lord knows if anyone is going to turn that girl straight, it will be you."

"I'm not trying to turn her straight," I rebutted. "I do, however, want to show her how I feel about her. This could be my only chance." I said the last part quietly, just for my ears.

"Let's be honest, Edward," he paused for a moment. "You and I both know she has wanted you since high school. The fact that she is with a woman right now, that she both adores and loves, does not negate that fact."

"I don't know, Emmett. I just don't know anymore."

"And she wants you to be the father of their baby," he continued. "How can you not see it? For that matter, how can she not see it? This is seriously more fucked up than Sunday mass to an atheist."

I looked at him in silence for a moment before taking a long swig of my beer, finishing it off.

"You, my friend, have as much to lose as she does if this doesn't work out and don't you forget it." He warned.

His words rang in my years as I lay in bed, trying to get sleep. _Did I really have that much to lose? As it stands right now, I have to see Bella in a loving relationship everyday with someone other than me and it's torture. What is the worst that could really happen? _

***

The day at work was strained to say the least. Tanya seemed to throw me what I'm sure in her mind was lusty, seductive stares as often as possible, causing my stomach to hurt just thinking about it. After the last patient of the day she came strolling into my office as if she owned the place. I was sitting at my desk, hoping she would go away if I just ignored her. But sadly, she walked up next to me and sat on my desk facing me crossing her legs inching her skirt up and internally i'm hurling.

"I was sad I didn't hear from you at all this past weekend, doc," she said as she traced the lapel of my lab coat with her finger. "I thought you might want a replay of Friday night."

I cringed at the thought. "Listen, Tanya," I said as I backed my chair away from her. "I was drunk. I am really sorry to say this...but it was a huge mistake."

She stood up and her eyes took on an angry glare. "Excuse me?"

"I'm really sorry to give you the wrong impression. I'm just not interested in you in anything other than co-workers." She needed to be told point blank, if the mistake comment didn't get through to her. This would.

She blew out a puff of air in disbelief. "If you weren't interested, your dick sure didn't know it." She poked me hard in the chest. "And if you didn't want anything from me, you came awfully hard for someone uninterested," she seethed.

"This is neither the time nor the place for this type of discussion," I said with authority. "We work together, and what happened was wrong on many levels. I promise you, it won't happy again. You can bank on that." I stood up and walked to the door and opened it, ushering her to leave.

"Well isn't that just perfect," she glared and walked in my direction. "You fuck me and think you can just treat me like a random whore?" She was so close I could smell the garlic on her breath from her Thai food she had at lunch. "You may have a big dick Cullen, but the personality of a sponge. _Fuck_ you."

She stomped out the door like a toddler having a tantrum and slammed the door behind her. I shook my head at her errant display of immature behavior. This was going to be an interesting situation to work around.

I was so screwed. I had the worst sex of my life with this woman, and now she is going to make my life Hell at work. Great Job Cullen!!! You're batting a thousand so far!

I finished up my charting and rode my bike home. After a shower I spent the evening around the house. I called Bella once, but no answer. She didn't answer my calls or texts since Sunday. I was scared to death that I really fucked up. What if what I asked of her was relationship ending between the two of us in her mind? Oh god, I didn't even think of that possibility! What if i lose her altogether?

The next day, Tanya slammed doors and threw papers at me. Pretty much making my life as difficult as possible. Not to mention embarrassing, the other assistants saw exactly how she was treating me. I spent as much time as I could behind the closed door of my office. Hoping time would tame the beast known as Tanya. This will always remind me to not eat where you shit. Never date a co-worker....always a bad idea!

I was frazzled. From head to toe I could feel the stress coming off me in waves. After a light dinner, I watched some Nurse Jackie while I let my stomach settle. Changed into jogging shorts and a tank top for a jog. I didn't think about it until a few minutes into my run that I was running in the direction of Bella's.

I chose at that moment to stop at her place. See why she was avoiding me. If my little condition was really so bad, then she should have put me in my place the second I said so. That's when it dawned on me. She wanted it too, in the back of her mind she wanted to be with me. She may not know it, but maybe in the back of her mind she wanted to be with me just as badly as I wanted to be with her.

_Flashback_

_I felt for my cap and straightened by graduation gown as my name was called over the PA system "Edward Cullen." I entered the stage, shook the principals hand, and took my diploma. Made my way off the stage and took my seat next to the other C's.  
_

_This was it, graduation. A day that signified the end of one journey, and the start of another. I clapped for fellow classmates as their names were called. When he got to the S's, I cringed when Jessica's name was called.  
_

_She sauntered on the stage swinging her hips trying her damnedest to look sexy. Trying being the key word. Her walk was wobbly at best thanks to the much too high heels she wore, which she was clearly not at all used to walking in. I chuckled to myself thinking of how many times she had probably fucked the hordes of different guys from school in those very heels. I cringed from the thought, instead turning my attentions to chanting for her to keel over in those goddamn heels. That would be funny as hell! Damn, she didn't fall, I frowned as she took the steps off the stage._

_My attentions were quickly averted when I heard "Isabella Swan." called. Bella, she hated being called Isabella. I stood on my feet to clap, hoot and holler as she took her diploma and headed toward the stairs. Her eyes met mine and I winked at her then gave her the best smile I could conjure up. She smiled back shyly, but sadly her face turned to a frown as she toppled over and fell on her hands and knees thanks to a too long graduation gown. She quickly got up and scrambled off the stage, her face burning red._

_After the caps were tossed and hugs were given, I spotted Bella through the hordes of well wishers.  
_

_"Congratulations," I said as I pulled her into a tight hug.  
_

_"Thanks," she said softly. "You too." I loosened the hug, but felt her head rest of my chest and sighed. "Sure glad that is over! That was nerve wracking." She pulled back, releasing me from our embrace._

_"Yeah, but we're done!" I said enthusiastically. "Oh, and I'm pretty sure no one is going to care about your big exit," I teased._

_She gasped in mock horror and slugged my shoulder as I snickered at her.  
_

_I looked at her, straightened my face to show her I was serious and said, "Truth is Bella, no one is going to remember your fall," I paused. "The only thing anyone will remember is how beautiful you look in blue," I rubbed her shoulder through her blue grad gown._

_She smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Edward," she said sofly. "You look pretty handsome yourself."_

_We were surrounded by people, but somehow alone in our little bubble. Our flirtations had never ceased in the years of knowing each other, but today I decided I would finally show her she meant more to me than I ever let on.  
_

_I closed the space between us and slowly started leaning in towards her luscious lips.  
_

_"Edward!" a shriek from behind me stopped me in my tracks. "Give your grandmother a hug!"_

_Fuck, I was just cockblocked by the old lady in peach trousers._

_"Um, I'll see you later Edward," Bella said as she turned toward the crowd, looked back at me quickly before disappearing into the sea of people._

_That night at the grad party is where things got really fucked up. There I was, standing by the DJ booth minding my own business when Angela made her way to me and asked me to dance. She led me to the dance floor, and ground her backside into me as dirty as possible to the music that pumped from the speakers. She turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me closer._

_"Let's go somewhere private," she whispered in my ear and flicked it with her tongue. Lord knows I was horny as hell, but there was only one person I wanted to release the wrath of my cock on and she was no where to be found.  
_

_I looked around the crowd, searching for Bella. When I found her, arms wrapped around Jacob fucking Black in what looked like a pretty fucking close hug I decided I was done. So fucking done with chasing her. Yeah, it was just a hug, but that fucker had wanted her for years and she knew it. And from the way his face was distorted into a cocky grin as he flashed his fangs in my direction, I had a pretty good idea what was going on between those two._ _As if he heard my thoughts, he bent down and kissed her on the cheek._

_I had seen enough. I turned my sights on my dancing partner and__ roughly grabbed__ her__arm__ and pulled her toward the closest bedroom. Once inside I made quick work of my pants and she did the same. Not feeling the need for foreplay, I angrily pushed inside her. I heard a gasp behind me and turned my head around. Bella had followed us. She stood in the doorway trembling. Tears streamed down her face as she turned and ran out of the house.  
_

_I pulled on my pants and ran out the door to find her, but in a matter of seconds she was gone.  
_

_Jacob stood next to me and said with a glare, "Good job, fucker. You just broke her heart."  
_

_End flashback_

I walked up to their front porch and lightly knocked. My nerves were flaring as the door opened. Alice answered, looking ready for an evening out.

"Edward!" she said with excitement, wrapping her arms around my neck pulling me into a hug. "I'm so excited to see you!"

I had to laugh at her excitement. I wasn't expecting this reaction out of her. It was more than obvious that Bella hadn't told her what I asked. What does that mean?

"You look nice, heading out?"

"Yep!" she exclaimed. "We're going dancing, a little celebration if you will. Which I have you to thank for."

"Me to thank?" I raised my eyebrow at her, giving her that signature smirk I know works on so many women quizzically.

"Of course!" she said, her smile nearly taking up her entire face. "We're celebrating our future child. Soon she will be pregnant, and you're damn right that we have you to thank for that!"

Just as she said that, Bella came into view. She was a vision of a goddess. Her black dress hugged her curves. My eyes traced her curves running a line from her hypnotizing brown eyes, down her silky smooth neck, past her perfectly round supple breasts and her stunningly bare legs and she was wearing this killer fuck me shoes that went right to my dick.

"Hi, Bella," I said with a smile. I told her I was on a run and wanted to stop by. When I mentioned I hadn't heard from her, she apologized for being busy. I can accept that. The fact that she had never been too busy to talk to me was not lost on me. I knew something was up and she was avoiding me, she wouldn't even look at me in the eyes.

Alice left us in the doorway to warm up the car. I took this as my chance to get up closer to her and ask her if she had made a decision.

I watched her face closely looking for something to help discern her emotions. She looked to the floor and said she had made up her mind.

She had conviction in her voice when she looked at me and said that she agreed to it. My heart was racing and my palms grew sweaty. I wanted this so bad, but how could I ask this of her. Just as I was about to say words to calm her, Alice honked the horn telling Bella to get moving.

She told me she would call me when it was time, and my stomach jumped at her words.

I leaned down cupping her face in both of my hands, grazing by her blushed cheekbone as if i was going to kiss her and slid to her ear and whispered. "You look so fucking gorgeous in that dress." And slid back to her cheek and kissed her chastely for longer than what would have been deemed 'friendly' and couldn't help feeling the electric sparks that i felt in every cell in my body, I never wanted to let her go...but she wasn't mine to have.

Her cheeks flushed red and a smile creeped on her face as I pulled away. She looked at me shyly as I turned to finish my jog. I smiled to myself as I felt her eyes on me as I ran.

Emmett was right. She did have feelings for me. I was going to show her just how much I felt for her. I had too but dammit if this woman wasn't gonna be the death of me.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

AN: I expect some of you to be mad at me. And I'm sorry for that!

I plan on updating this story once a week from here on out. I promise not to make you wait like you did for this chapter. Next chapter will be EPOV of their first time together!

Come by and chat on the thread on Twilighted for my story, link is in my profile.

So show me some love and review! I honestly take your critiques to heart and try to better the story for you!

xoxo


	3. Flesh For the Win

AN: Thank you Charmie for Beta'ing for me! You put so much time and effort into helping me and I truly appreciate every second! Literally folkds, she is sick with a terrible cold but still making time for me. I 3 her tons!

I know alot of you have been waiting for this chapter in EPOV, and I really hope it lives up to your expectations! I'm a bit nervous lol!

Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight or its characters.

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Previously on All I Need:

_I leaned down cupping her face in both of my hands, grazing by her blushed cheekbone as if I was going to kiss her and slid to her ear and whispered. __**"You look so fucking gorgeous in that dress." **__and slid back to her cheek and kissed her chastely for longer than what would have been deemed 'friendly' and couldn't help feeling the electric sparks that I felt in every cell in my body, I never wanted to let her go...but she wasn't mine to have._

_Her cheeks flushed red and a smile creeped on her face as I pulled away. She looked at me shyly as I turned to finish my jog. I smiled to myself as I felt her eyes on me as I ran._

_Emmett was right. She did have feelings for me. I was going to sho__w her just how much I felt for her. I had too but dammit if this woman wasn't gonna be the death of me._

Chapter 3

EPOV

It had been two days since I last saw or spoke with Bella. Her words continued to play at the forefront of my mind. She accepted my offer. It was a shot in the dark from the very beginning, but somehow I had to try, I would condemn myself if I didn't at least try. I knew I would hear from her any day, and going to Emmett's didn't seem to calm my nerves one bit.

"So, what did Bella say?" he asked is normal Emmett fashion. Loudly.

"Fuck, Emmett! Keep your voice down," I whispered, hoping he would follow my lead. Last thing I needed was for Rosalie to hear to about this and have her voice her opinion to me. Which I knew would be done in typical Rose fashion, which could come off as bitchy, insensitive, judgmental or just plain mean. "I really don't want your woman in on this."

"Jesus, Edward," he rolled his eyes. "Just fucking tell me what happened." He said in a mockingly sarcastic tone.

"She's....well...ummm... she's agreed," I said hesitantly while shrugging my shoulders.

His eyes went wide in shock before his lips curled into a smirk.

"Well, damn, E," he snickered. "Lucky you. You get to bareback Bella, free of charge. You are one lucky bastard," he shook his head while continuing to smirk. "If you're lucky, you're shooting blanks and get to keep trying for a long while." He slapped my back in male approval. "Hmmm… Maybe you'll turn her straight."

"Dammit Emmett," this shit was pissing me off, and from the look on his face I could tell he knew exactly what he was doing. "For the record, I am _not_ trying to turn her straight. I just want a chance to show her how I feel."

His face turned serious and his voice was grave. "Honestly, dude, I know you like her," he paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "But have you even thought about how this could really fuck with her head?"

"I--"

"I mean, shit," he cut me off. "You just asked her to straight up _cheat_ on her girlfriend."

"I'm aware--"

"Do you understand how fucked up that is?" he cut me off again. That was getting really annoying.

"Fuck, Emm. Will you shut up for one second so I can talk?" I waited a moment and when he didn't say a word I continued. "I realize everything you just said and your right, It's pretty messed up of me," I nervously ran my hand through my hair. "But I saw a chance and I went for it. I'm done missing chances with her. _Done_."

_Flashback:_

_She ran from the grad party straight to her truck. I only knew she was driving somewhere thanks to the incredibly loud roar from the engine as she sped off. _

_I raced to my car and sped after her. This fuck up of mine would NOT be the end of our friendship. _

"_FUCK!" I yelled to myself as I slammed my fist against the steering wheel. Of all the ways to fuck things up. "Dammit!"_

_I got to her house just as she was rushing to her door. I barely put the car in park before hurrying out of my car and running towards her. _

"_Bella!" I called for her, pleading with her to just hear me out._

_She turned towards me, her eyes flashed with anger. "Get the fuck away from me," she yelled, her cheeks still wet from the tears she shed. "You make me sick!"  
_

"_Bella, please, let me explain!" I pleaded._

"_Fuck you, Edward Cullen," she spat, walking towards me quickly. A flicker of fear ran through me when I saw the anger in her eyes. She was beyond pissed off. "Who you fuck is none of my business and I'm sorry I walked in on you. Trust me, it won't happen again."_

"_I'm so sorry, Bella—" _

"_For what, Edward!?" she demanded, cutting off my pleas. Her eyes narrowed and she brushed her hair past her shoulder and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I've cried enough tears for you to last a lifetime. I'm done, do you hear me __**done!**__ I just don't care anymore."_

"_I over reacted. I saw you with Jacob—"_

"_Fuck, Edward! What does Jacob have to do with you being a fucking manwhore?"_

_Those words brought chills down my spine. She thought that lowly of me? It was then I realized just how much I was about to lose. _

"_Get off my lawn, Edward," she yelled. "There was a time I thought I wanted you...and I had hoped you felt the same." She paused as she turned towards her front door. "But that time is gone. Please, just leave me alone."_

_I watched in silence as she ran into her house and shut me out. I broke her heart...and she was angry. People say mean things when their angry. I knew I deserved every ounce of anger she had to give._

_I couldn't lose her out of my life, I had to prove her wrong. But dear god, I didn't have any idea how long that would take._

_End flashback._

After leaving Emmett's, I was spent. My head hurt and I needed some sleep. I had a short Saturday shift tomorrow, and needed to recoup from Emmett's mind fuck.

The next morning, I was in my office when she called. Her voice was quiet and shy telling me it was time. I offered that I would be home around two and we would meet at my house. After hanging up, I put my head in my hands. Rubbing my temples as I tried to wrap my mind around what was going to transpire. Something I had been hoping and dreaming for...years was about to happen and yet all I felt was guilt in the way it was happening and joy that she would finally be mine.

A loud rapping on my office door brought me out of my thoughts.

"Come in!" I called to the door.

In walked Tanya. Her eyes laced with malice and intent. She lurched to my desk and crossed her arms.

"Can I help you, Tanya?"

"Dr. _Cullen_," she spat. "The other ladies in the office are wondering what's going on with us."

"Excuse me?" I asked in surprise. "What's going on with _us_?"

"You heard me," she said coolly. "I guess someone found out about our little night together and now people are wondering why you seem to be rather rude to me." Her face distorted into a scowl.

"What do you mean someone found out?" The only person who knew was her. What did she have to gain at telling someone?

"All I know is, you better watch it Doc," she warned. "A boss using his position to get into the pants of his assistant really is a bad career move."

My stomach felt ill. Fuck. I rubbed my eyes as I tried to form a reply.

"Some may call it sexual harassment," she said as she walked to the door and exited before giving me a chance to reply.

I didn't know what she was up to, but I knew I was in trouble. I finished up the day with an anxious stomach. I tried my best to be friendly to Tanya, especially in front of others. I was making sure to keep the distance between us at least five feet, I wanted to make it clear I had absolutely _**no interest **_**in** her.

I left the office in record time and sped home. I had about 15 minutes to spare before I knew Bella would be over. I changed into a pale blue button down shirt and jeans. Mentally preparing myself to be a lover to Bella, finding the courage in me to do what I had longed to do for so long.

I had become so apprehensive with Bella's visit that I thought maybe I should talk to her about this arrangement when I heard her car pull into the driveway, I stood near the doorway and waited for her. She was quiet as she opened the door; I smiled to myself realizing she was trying to sneak in.

After greeting her, I turned toward the kitchen to get something for us to drink when I felt her hand on my shoulder, silently asking me to stop. I faced her and I must have had a puzzling look on my eyes because she grabbed my hand and let me towards the stairs, she was leading us to my bedroom. There was no discussion, no thought of what we were doing. She just wanted to get it over with. A flicker of guilt weaved through my mind as I searched her face for some sort of answer just for a moment. When I found nothing but calm I followed her with anticipation.

Once past the doorway you could feel our apprehension, not in what we were doing but the way we were doing it. We were about to make love, to create a new life and you could feel the tension in the air. Once in my bedroom, we faced each other. This just felt right. She took my breath away standing before me, waiting for me to make a move. Her hands trembled as I laid my hand on her waist to pull her towards me, closer to the bed. It was in this moment that I knew, I would take her as a man should. I would not hold back these feelings anymore. It was in this moment I thought back to all of our years of friendship and how much I have wanted all these years. I would show her just how much I wanted her.

I placed my hand on the small of her back just caressing her, easing her into this...I knew this was new territory for Bella and I just wanted to make her happy. I just couldn't not look at her, she was so gorgeous and those brown chocolate pools were staring at me as if I had the answer to some long awaited question.

"What's wrong?" I asked...she seemed to hesitate with every action. I had to make sure she was okay.

"I don't think we should kiss," she said firmly. I could tell she thought that would be too intimate a gesture. Maybe she thought if we kissed that would truly be betraying Alice.

"I think it would be easier on both of us if we did kiss." I almost whispered. Oh how I wanted to kiss her. "Easier on your body....from the stimulation that it...brings." I then cocked my eyebrow hoping for a smile and licked my lips. She nodded her head in agreement allowing me to kiss her.

I leaned in and started the kiss slow and soft as a first kiss should be, it was soft and chaste and sweet. The kiss soon turned more warm and wet and then I felt the tingle of her lips on mine and it was euphoric. She followed my lead as our tongues caressed each other with such ease you would have thought we'd been lovers for years. Suddenly I felt her hesitation and I pulled back for assurance. She was unsure. I looked deep in her eyes. "Bella, are you okay?" This had to be her decision, oh how I want her....but I had to make her want it too. We headed towards the bed and undressed one another. We would take this nice and slow.

A few minutes later, we were lying together on my bed, naked, "You have no idea how long....I've waited for you." I whispered into her ear and I heard her gasp at that thought. Her skin was silky and smooth like that of a porcelain doll. Her body fit against me perfectly as if they were made to be each others match. I couldn't take my eyes off of her body, everything about her made me excited with anticipation and then I captured her gaze and saw these chocolate pools staring onto me and I couldn't look away. To look away would be a sin at this moment. Eventually I lowered my gaze to her neck and shoulders and then landing on the curvature of her breast. I gently squeezed her breast and was rewarded with a slight moan that I'm sure she hadn't intended on being audible. I took my finger and teasingly touched her nipple while kissing her neck and without very little effort her nipples were hard. I worked my way down and began kissing and licking every crevice I could, then finally ending up lightly biting on her breast near her nipple. "Edward..." she whimpered. This noise, this feeling of pleasuring her went straight to my cock.

I hoisted myself back to her face and began kissing her fiercely, it was all I could do to not thrust and slam into her forcefully. This was new territory for her and I wanted to make it memorable. My body ached to be inside her. She took her hand and placed it on my painfully hard cock and with a gentle caressing placed me at her entrance. I looked to her for the last time for reassurance, there was no going back after this...once we were together like this it would change who we were and I wanted nothing more. My breathing hitched as she guided me inside her. Several painfully slow strokes later I was finally fully sheathed inside of her, and the fact that she was so incredibly wet for me did not go unnoticed. _I_ made her wet.

I wasn't sure how long I could last inside of her...this feeling was euphoric. Then her expression changed from enjoyment as she was panting and she closed her eyes. "No, Bella....I need to see you come...Open your eyes for me." hesitantly she opened them and looked at me and that brought me dangerously close to orgasm.

Then I saw her moving and writhing underneath me and I began to feel her walls tightening and her pussy quivered around my cock as she orgasmed and the feeling went straight to my heart and soul. "Oh.....my.....fuck me.....EDWARD." she screamed. In the midst I could not control myself any further and this brought me to orgasm and I spilled inside of her and moaned in ecstasy. I watched her face intently. My breathing was ragged and my head was dizzy. The smile on her face brought a smile to my own. She enjoyed it.

"Bella—" I started to say.

The moment I said her name, her eyes shot open and panic covered her face. It was like sudden realization of what we had done. She pushed me off her and with trembling hands threw on her clothes. It killed me to watch her tremble so vigorously. She wouldn't even look at me as she darted out the room in what can only be described as fear.

"Bella...Please...Don't run away." I just wanted to see her look in my eyes for a second to know that we were okay.

I followed her to the door, calling her name. She was gone in a moment. I watched as she backed out of my driveway and slammed into a full trashcan by the curb. She was utterly panicked.

I closed the door and went back to my room. I needed to clear my mind. The guilt of the pain I just caused her was unbearable. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as I turned on the water for a shower.

I stood in the shower until the water turned cold. My mind raced as I prepared myself to make a decision. I couldn't lose her even if that meant having see her 'happy' with Alice and our baby for the rest of my life. I knew what I had to do....I had to let her go. I couldn't do this to her. As much as I wanted her for myself, I was breaking her heart all over again. I would not be that selfish teenager I once was.

Emmett was right. I was going to ruin her. I knew what I had to do. I would help her, as I said I would, but in a different way. A way that wouldn't cheat her in the process. A way where I could make her happy once again...even if it brought me misery. All I ever wanted was for her happiness.

I needed to call Emmett. But first things first. I had to call Bella and make sure she was okay.

I dialed her cell phone to no avail. I knew it was crazy and I might get Alice, but I called her landline phone. As luck would have it, Alice answered.

"Hi Alice," I managed to say in the friendliest voice I could muster up. "Is Bella home yet?"

"Actually, Edward, I was just trying to call her myself," she sounded confused. "When did she leave your place?"

Shit, I didn't know how to answer this. I didn't want to raise any suspicion for Bella, I had caused her enough grief already. "She just left." I hope to god Bella gets home soon. "Just let her know she knocked over my trash outside with her car when she left." Fuck I suck at this.

She laughed into the phone. "She crashed into your trash?" she could hardly control the giggles. "She must have pregnancy brain already! You totally have super sperm!"

"Yeah, well, just tell her I called. Okay?" That was awkward, to say the least.

"Okay, thanks again for doing this for us Edward. It really means a lot to us."

"Yeah.....No problem." I choked out before hanging up.

I dialed Emmett right after and arranged to meet him and Rose at their house and left promptly. My adrenaline was still pumping from watching a distraught Bella rush out the door, her face clouded with panic. My heart was racing and my face was flushed.

I entered Emmett's after knocking once and found him and Rose seated on the couch together, hand in hand watching television.

"You look like you've just seen a ghost, man," Emmett roared. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Can we talk privately?" I asked, gesturing toward Rose.

"Fuck off, Edward," she said coolly. "What you need to talk to Emm about, you can talk to me about." She pointed to the empty recliner across the room. "Sit your ass down and speak."

I sighed in exhaustion. I just didn't have it in me to fight with her today. I lowered myself to sit in the chair and took a deep breath.

"She called today," I resigned. I looked up to fine two confused faces. Emmett was looking at me questioning me with a raised eyebrow. "Bella, she called to tell me she was ready today."

Understanding crossed his face. "And?"

"Care to share boys?" Rosalie questioned.

Emmett turned to his fiance and proceeded to tell her about the situation. How Bella and Alice asked me to be the father of their baby. And I agreed, but only if Bella slept with me. Oh, and Alice has no clue. Her face went from confusion to disdain in two seconds flat.

"Wow, Edward," she said ferally, shaking her head in disapproval. "I always knew you were a masochist, but this... Damn... This really takes the cake."

Ignoring her, I turned my attention to Emmett. "She came over today," I murmured, fearing the words as they came out of my mouth.

"I get that much," his voice was getting louder as he was getting inpatient with me. "What happened?"

"Well, we had sex," I raised my hand as Rosalie opened her mouth to say something, most likely something bitchy. "And she seemed to really enjoy it. But the second it was over, she flew out of my house like a bat out of Hell. She was spooked and just... FUCK! Emm, I'm freaking out," my stomach twisted the more I thought about her reaction to our love making, if you can even call it that. "I don't know if I can fix this. But I have a plan."

"Right, you have a plan." Rose mocked.

"Yes. I do," I glared at her. "I am going to give them what they need. But in a cup this time."

"Hmmm, why didn't I think of that?" Emmett said as he stroked his chin like he was thinking. "Oh wait, I did."

"I know, and I am going to do this...right this time. If I ever hear from her again that is." If there was a way to make this up to her, I was willing to do it. If that meant I had to jack off into a cup, I would do it. The knots in my stomach eased as I thought of the look on her face as she lay under me. She had to have enjoyed being with me, she was so wet. I shook the thoughts out of my mind, resigning to the fact that having her in that way would never happen again. If I was lucky, I would be able to help her in the way she originally planned. At least I would get to have her in some way....any way and I would take what I could get.

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AN: Want more of EPOV? I wont know unless you review and tell me hehe! Reviews for teaser.


	4. Unspoken Apology

AN: Thanks to my beta Charmie, you really are too good to me!

Charmie and I collab'ed on a For the love of Jasper o/s contest, it's fluffy and cute with a nice splash of lemon. Check my profile if you choose to read it.

I dont own Twilight or is characters. You know the drill.

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EPOV

_Is it time to get up yet?_ I thought as I lay in my bed after a restless sleep, actually, _when_ I slept it was restless. I never had a problem sleeping before, but after a whirlwind day like yesterday, I found myself tossing and turning all night long. Visions of Bella and the fear on her face as she raced out of my house plagued my thoughts all night long.

I rolled onto my side to stared at my traitorous alarm clock, blaring the early time at me 5:33. Flipping off the defenseless time keeper as I rolled onto my back and forced my eyes shut in an attempt to get more shut eye. It was a losing battle. There was simply no more sleep to be had. I groaned in defiance and nuzzled my pillow one more time before climbing out of bed. The scent of Bella and our sex lingered on my bedding, and I just couldn't have that. I stripped the bed of its bindings and ran them to the laundry room where I quickly doused them with lemony fresh laundry soap and started the cycle.

It was close to eight by the time I was showered, dressed, ate, dosed my morning caffeine, and read the Sunday paper. I knew I needed to call Bella. Last I heard she hadn't even gotten home yet. I knew it was a bit early, but time was going slow for me today and I just didn't have the patience to wait to call. I picked up my phone and dialed Bella's cell which went straight to voicemail. I sighed heavily as I clicked end and dialed their house line.

The phone only rang once before a cheery Alice picked up. "Hello, Edward!" she sang into the receiver sounding far too awake for eight o'clock on the weekend.

"Hi Alice," I said not nearly as exuberant as her. "Is Bella around?"

"Yeah, but she's still sleeping," she giggled shyly, whatever that was about. "I'm making her breakfast. She deserves it after last night."

I didn't even want to know what that meant. "Oh, ok, well tell her I called."

"Wait, Edward," she said quickly trying to make sure I heard her before I hung up. "What time should Bella come over today?"

Oh damn, that's right. She needed to have another "insemination" today. "Uh, anytime. Sooner rather than later would probably be best."

"Ok, well I'll have her call you when she gets up."

We said our quick goodbyes before hanging up. I didn't have any reason to assume Bella would actually come over today. I had already assumed what her reaction would be, based on how quickly she bolted out of my bed yesterday. I assumed she would find a reason to tell Alice why she couldn't come over, and probably even cancel this baby making plan of hers right in its tracks. Which could still happen, but knowing Alice and her convincing nature that would most likely not be the case.

I walked into the laundry room and switched out my bedding to the dryer, being sure to put in a dryer sheet. They just always made my laundry smell so fresh. My nerves were calming, slowly, I lounged on the couch listening to the sounds of cars driving past and dogs barking. The relative calm I felt drifted to my eyelids, which felt heavier by the second. Just as I felt myself passing over to dreamland, the shrill ring of my phone startled me to full attention.

I lifted the phone to check the caller ID, it was Bella. I cleared my throat before answering. "Hello?" my voice was quiet and unsure.

"Hey, Eddie." It was Alice, sounding just as cheery as before. "Did I wake you? You sound tired."

"Nah, I'm up," I lied; well it was only a half lie. I wasn't fully asleep. "What's up?" _And why are you calling me instead of Bella?_

"Bella will be over in thirty minutes, okay?"

My heart jumped at the mention of her name, but I could play this cool. "Okay."

"Oh, and tell her no stopping at Angela's after she leaves your house this time. I was really worried about her yesterday."

_So that was Bella's excuse, good thinking Bella_. "Yeah, alright. Talk to you later."

I put my phone on the charger in the kitchen before taking the brown paper bag I had prepped for today. Inside I had a specimen cup and a lid. I walked straight to my bedroom like a man on a mission, and after a few minutes I had a cup full of my essence. Placing it in the refrigerator and waited patiently for Bella's arrival.

Exactly thirty minutes past Alice calling, I heard light footsteps outside my front door. I was surprised when I heard a light tapping on the door. What the hell? She hadn't knocked on my door in years! This was worse than I ever had dared to fear.

I slowly opened the door and was breathless as I drank in the sight before me. Bella shyly glanced towards me as I whisked my eyes over her breast hugging pink t-shirt, down to her low rise jeans that showed every sleek curve of her perfect legs. The sound of Bella taking a swift inhale caused me to whip my eyes to hers. God she took my breath away.

"You knocked," I stated, confused as to why she would after all this time. "That's weird."

She diverted her eyes everywhere but to my eyes. "Yeah...ummm...well, sorry." I stepped out of her way and she walked to the living room where she took a seat on a single chair. I followed and sat near her on the couch. Her breathing hitched and her face flushed as she looked to her hands.

"We need to talk," her voice trembled slightly as she said the words we both were thinking.

I took that moment to ask to speak first. I told her the truth. How watching her leave hastily and looking so scared fucked with my head. I had always been confident, and I had never had a woman leave me after sex like what we had. Hell, I had never had sex like that before. With her, it was like breathing. It came natural. How could she not feel it, the connection when we were together? We had always been close, but somehow, at least to me, the physical intimacy amplified our closeness.

I honestly felt, at least I did at one time, that being with each other would be easy. The fact that we are friends, closer than even most lovers, being intimate would be effortless, it would just flow. But, I was wrong, and it stung me to my core. I couldn't lose her like this, over something that I knew I should never have forced her to do to begin with. What kind of fool was I to think I could turn her straight and make her love me? Then she said the words that made it worthwhile. The sting of rejection turned to slight joy. She admitted she enjoy being with me. Inwardly I did a happy dance. But the sting returned with five simple words. "We can't do that again."

I agreed with her. I didn't want to, but it was right for her at least. It would break me to never be with her like that again, I needed it like I needed air or breath. I took that moment to lead her into the kitchen and handed her a the brown paper bag containing my essence and she bore a confused look on her face. This is all she wanted me for or could I have been wrong? Just then she nodded and smiled down at me. She hugged me close, and I felt a tingle as I realized we would be okay. She would get past this. She wouldn't be my lover, but she would be my friend still and I was thrilled that she would at least let me keep her in my life somehow. I watched her leave and felt a sense of calm as she drove away. The calm that forgiveness brought.

I dialed the one person I could talk to about this, Emmett.

"Hey Edward," he answered in a snarky tone.

"Bella and I talked." Why I felt the need to confess to him, is beyond me. But I needed someone to talk to about this. "And we're good as friends again."

"Edward...Do you really think you guys will ever have that again? I mean....she bolted right? You might never be friends again...be prepared for that. Just do me a solid and read your email in a few minutes okay? I was thinking about you and saw this re-run of this show and well it applies..It's about a vampire and slayer going at it...but you'll get the point. Just think about it."

As I hung up with Emmett I realized that maybe he was right, maybe I had screwed up my friendship with Bella by being so selfish that I basically strong arm her into feeling something, anything for me. Just then I heard a pop from my computer alerting me to an email. I moved my mouse to flash the screensaver and went into my email.

_To:ECullen_

_From:Emmett_is_the_man  
_

_Subject: Just think about it..._

_Eddie,_

_Just really think about what you're doing man. Here's the quote I was telling you about. You really should check out that show...that chick was HOT in her day!_

_Emmett_

_**You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love til it kills you both. You'll fight, you'll shag and you'll hate each other til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work it's will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.**_

As I read Emmett's email some of it was absurd but some of it really made me think. Had I really gone too far this time? As I mulled over what my next steps would be my solitude was not to last as my phone began ringing. It was my mom.

"Hey mom," I sighed into the phone.

"What are you doing tonight?" she asked, ignoring my tone.

"Sleeping," I muttered. I love my mom, but I was ready to get some sleep right this very moment. I was emotionally wiped.

"Well, save that for after dinner. You dad and I want you to come for a family dinner."

"I—," I started to answer hesitantly only to be cut off.

"That was not a question. I want to see my son, who seems to always be too busy to come see us lately. I already made enough for you and you know how we don't eat leftovers. Don't make me waste the food," she was really laying it on thick. I will say this for her, she sure knows how to make her kids feel guilty.

A home cooked meal did sound just what the doctor ordered now that I think about it. It would be nice to see the loving faces of my parents. "What time?"

"Five thirty," she said, clearly pleased with herself. "I have a roast, mashed potatoes and gravy. Don't be late."

Exactly what I needed, comfort food. _My god I sound like a chick. Next thing you know I'll be crying on my mom's shoulder over Bella._

After taking a jog, I returned home and cleaned up. Loaded up in my car and headed to my parents house. I was a second generation doctor, and my dad was successful in his practice. Though they didn't lavish themselves in diamonds and pearls, the one thing they did splurge on was their home. A large three level home with too many rooms for a two person household. Decorated in muted neutral colors and so clean I was always scared to even walk on the carpet.

I let myself in and was greeted by my mom who instantly pulled me into a tight hug. The smell of dinner hung in the air and my stomach growled, reminding me I had forgotten to eat lunch. We ate dinner and the conversation centered around our work days and of course, whether I had a woman in my life. Which, I avoided the subject quite nicely. After we ate, I helped wash dishes and then went to the living room to chat while I let the food settle in my stomach.

"I was going through the storage closet the other day," she said as she pulled out a large book from the coffee table in front of her. "And I found this."

I looked at it closely a moment before I realized it was a photo album. And not just any photo album. It was of my senior year of high school photo album. It was one of my graduation gifts from Esme. She felt the final year of high school was something to commemorate.

"Look at it with me," she said as she placed it on her lap and opened it up to the first page. Appeasing her, I scooted up next to her as she leafed through the pages. The first sets of pictures were of homecoming. Nothing I wanted to go to at the time, but Bella and I went with a group of friends. All of us went stag, which took the pressure off of having to find a date. I laughed as we passed through pictures of Christmastime, when Bella gave me this silly looking _Chia_ pet that actually when I set it up, grew pretty quickly. But died just the same. Something about having to water it, might have contributed to its death.

I paused when we came to the pictures taken of senior skip day. Generally the senior class chose one day towards the end of the year and all skipped classes that day and did whatever we wanted.

_Flashback_

_A group of friends were going to sneak into a few movies for senior skip day, but Bella and I wanted to do something outdoors. We decided it was a nice enough day in the beginning of June to go to the beach by the River. It wasn't a big beach like by the ocean, but a little one just cozy enough for the two of us to lay down a blanket and enjoy the warm spring day. _

_Bella wore her swimsuit under her clothing and I tried to pretend I wasn't staring at her as she stripped off the layers down to her green polka dot bikini. But, of course it was impossible to cover up my gawking, she caught me ogling._

"_Edward, really? You're going to stare at me?" she teased and threw her shirt in my face, which held a sweet fruity scent. _

"_I'm not staring," I lied shrugging my shoulders. "Besides, you're the one stripping. Don't think a man like myself can resist taking a peak at a practically naked female."_

_She rolled her eyes and giggled before playfully slapping my shoulder. I watched her feminine curves as she walked toward the waters edge. She swiped a toe through the water before turning back squealing. _

"_Oh my GOD its cold!" she hissed as she fanned out her towel out on the ground next to the blanket and laid down to bask in the sun. _

_I stood up and took off my shirt leaving me in my swim shorts. I flashed Bella an evil smirk as I lurched toward her and whisked her in my arms. _

"_Edward!" she screamed, flailing her legs trying to get down. "Put me down!" _

_I struggled and succeeded in keeping her in my grasp and walked us stealthily toward the water. Fully intending on dropping her in. _

"_Don't you dare, Edward fucking Cullen!" _

_I stepped in the water; the ice cold temperature sprung goose bumps up my legs. But I was determined. When I was waist deep, I did it...I dropped her. Was she ever pissed at me. You ever see Mommy Dearest and the wire hangers incident? Yeah well amplify that by say a hundred and you can understand the mess I just found myself in._

_She stood up; her nipples were erect from the cold water and did they ever mesmerized me. She jumped up on me and wrapped her legs around me, toppling me over into the cold depths. _

_I grabbed her waist and pulled her to me intending on dunking her under once again. But at that moment, with her chest against mine and feeling her quick breathing, I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. I started in on my target and just when I was about to kiss her, I felt a raindrop on my nose. She pulled back from my grasp as the rain pellets fell quicker. _

_"Edward, our clothes! They'll get wet!" _

_I looked around the rain and clouds knowing what was eminent but not caring I Ieaned in towards her lips bringing her chest closer to mine and captured her gaze once again knowing this was my chance. I looked intently at her trying to express all of my feelings of the past, present and future as I moved closer towards her. I knew she could tell I was getting aroused as she shifted with this expression of confusion on her face. Suddenly we were in a downpour and in one fell swoop Bella had jumped off of me._

_"Edward let's go!!! It's pouring!" and I knew I would never get that chance back again._

_End flashback_

"Thanks, that was a nice trip through memory lane," I quipped.

"I thought you might like that," she said, a pleased smile graced her lips.

"I need to get going home, Mom... Dad.... Thanks for dinner," I kissed Mom on the cheek and waved bye to Dad.

"Almost forgot to ask, Edward." I stopped my decent to the door and turned toward my dad. "How is Bella?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "She's fine."

"We haven't seen her in so long, bring her with you next time."

"Sure," I said, knowing full well that was most likely not going to happen anytime soon.

I drove home all the while jonesing to crawl into bed, I was so tired. I dragged my ass to the top of the stairs and tore off my clothes down to my boxers. Turned to my bed to jump in, and froze. Damn, I need to make my bed. I contemplated for a minute whether I should just throw on a blanket on the mattress to sleep on, but fuck it. I might as well make it and get it over with. I quickly got the fitted sheet and top sheet tucked in slipped into bed. Before I went to sleep I couldn't fight the urge anymore to text Bella. I rattled off a quick text, wanting to make some kind of contact with her. Reassure myself we were still ok. I made it short and simple.

**B - **

**I just want you know I'm thinking of you....Sweet Dreams Love...**

**- E**

I realize how I am reaching and don't expect to hear anything back, when my phone beeps with a reply.

**Ditto**

Ditto? She _is _thinking of me to but what does that mean for us?

* * *

AN: Yeah, I know. The boys got it bad. I can't help it, in my mind Edward is a lovestruck man who got a taste of her and now he is aDICKted... haha...** Next chapter is a hottie, EPOV of the camping trip. You want it _hot_?? Then you best leave me some review love! xoxo**


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